From a working idea to a company that can run

Batman Consulting’s startup acceleration is for teams that already have a product, a handful of users, or a founder who can sell — and who will lose the next six months if the offer, the customer, and the story keep shifting every week. We do not run a cohort, take equity as a default, or promise a raise. We help you lock an offer, name the ICP, write a fundraising narrative that matches the books, and install the first operating cadence (hiring order included) so the company can move without a new whiteboard every Monday.

Who should hire this

Founders who are past “is this a company?” and into “which motion do we fund?” Typical moments: you can demo, but you cannot explain the offer in one sentence two cofounders agree on; you have inbound that does not convert; you are hiring the first seller or the first engineer who is not a founder; you have a round on the calendar and a story that still sounds like the pitch from last year. If the question is a single board-level fork with an existing P&L, strategic advisory is cleaner. If you are an established company changing how work gets done, enterprise transformation is the page.

We work in English, fully online. We are not a Y Combinator, a seed fund, or a recruiter. If what you need is capital or a visa, say so early — we will not dress those needs up as strategy work.

What “acceleration” means here

The word is abused. On this site it means four concrete outputs, not a vibe:

• Offer. What you sell, what you refuse to sell, the price shape, and the first objection you will hear. Written so a new hire can use it on a call without calling a founder.
• ICP. Who pays, who influences, who is a waste of pipeline. Built from the customers you already have (or the ten conversations you can actually get), not from a TAM slide.
• Narrative. The story for customers and, if you are raising, for investors. Same facts. Different emphasis. No invented traction.
• Rhythm. A weekly operating cadence: what gets reviewed, who decides, the hiring order for the next two seats, and what you will stop doing so those seats have room.

You do not have to buy all four. A company with a sharp offer and a muddy raise story should not pay for another positioning offsite. We scope to the missing piece after a short diagnostic.

How the work runs

Week one and two look like advisory on purpose: we read the funnel, the bank balance, the hiring plan, and the last ten customer conversations. We sit with whoever actually sells. We do not run a 40-person survey to discover that the founders disagree. If they disagree, the engagement starts by making that disagreement writeable.

Then we test in the market you already have access to. That might be ten outbound conversations, a landing-page offer test, a price conversation with three current accounts, or a rewrite of the deck that the next investor meeting will actually see. We do not require a new brand, a new stack, or a new legal entity unless the diagnostic says the current one is the constraint.

The 90-day sprint is where acceleration either becomes a company habit or it does not. A named founder owns the calendar. We join the weekly review. We leave artifacts in your tools. At the stop date you should be able to run the motion without us — including saying no to work that does not match the ICP.

Fundraising, honestly

We will help you tell the truth about the business in a form a partner can diligence. We will not ghostwrite a world-changing TAM, invent logos, or coach you to sound like the last fund’s thesis. If the books cannot support the story, the work is to change the business or change the ask — not to decorate the ask. Introductions are not part of the standard engagement; if we know a relevant person and you are a fit, that is a separate, explicit conversation, not a promised deliverable.

What we will not do

We will not take a “build my startup” brief from someone with no domain, no customers, and no time in the calendar. We will not become your outsourced CEO. We will not stay on after the sprint as a shadow cofounder unless that is a new, written agreement. And we will not pretend that acceleration is a substitute for a product people pay for.